








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2998 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2851 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3059 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2463 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,258,021 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | playstationpizza | 58% | 88 |
| #2 | geedis | 57% | 68 |
| #3 | Cluuless | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Brenda | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | CoolAdam | 54% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | eqz | 45% | 22 |
| #14 | p i v o o o | 44% | 41 |
| #15 | sloppy bill on the pill | 42% | 24 |
| #16 | Dewey Fan | 41% | 34 |
| #17 | sLug | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geedis | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | sletong | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | playstationpizza | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Ericcc | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Dewey Fan | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sletong | 667 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | playstationpizza | 293 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | CoolAdam | 178 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | PlzMoar | 176 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #5 | Brenda | 147 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geedis | +3.23 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | eqz | +1.41 | 56 | 59 |
| #3 | W1nter | +1.23 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | playstationpizza | +1.04 | 63 | 66 |
| #5 | Cluuless | +0.97 | 52 | 63 |





