








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,219 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5580 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4917 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3081 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3641 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,087,958 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jk | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | geedis | 55% | 44 |
| #3 | Qlipzi | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | CoolAdam | 52% | 67 |
| #5 | wist | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | CoolAdam | 52% | 67 |
| #5 | wist | 50% | 42 |
| #6 | MF_James | 44% | 25 |
| #7 | Pander | 43% | 21 |
| #8 | wheelkill4food | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geedis | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | CoolAdam | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Qlipzi | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoolAdam | 201 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Qlipzi | 150 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | MF_James | 128 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | wist | 97 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | geedis | 90 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geedis | +1.97 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | Qlipzi | +1.33 | 85 | 75 |
| #3 | wheelkill4food | +0.44 | 51 | 56 |
| #4 | Caf | -0.02 | 75 | 76 |
| #5 | CoolAdam | -0.19 | 85 | 61 |





