








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2917 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3468 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2336 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3633 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,621,985 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 765 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Midas | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | sletong | 57% | 93 |
| #3 | playstationpizza | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | falco` | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | wist | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Shiro | 38% | 39 |
| #12 | sLug | 38% | 29 |
| #13 | Cagey | 37% | 27 |
| #14 | trash | 37% | 63 |
| #15 | Flo | 36% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | playstationpizza | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Flotek | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | trash | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | wist | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Cagey | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sletong | 399 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Flo | 333 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #3 | playstationpizza | 219 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Flotek | 195 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | trash | 189 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Midas | +2.48 | 67 | 22 |
| #2 | falco | +1.92 | 68 | 46 |
| #3 | Flotek | +0.97 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | playstationpizza | +0.94 | 67 | 68 |
| #5 | wist | +0.85 | 64 | 61 |





