








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 325 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4698 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5334 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3303 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3564 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,834,854 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SudZ] Old_Major | 49% | 75 |
| #2 | SpayCee | 47% | 32 |
| #3 | The Real Ryan Boyd (Look Me Up) | 39% | 79 |
| #4 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | 38% | 55 |
| #5 | bigchib | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SpayCee | 47% | 32 |
| #3 | The Real Ryan Boyd (Look Me Up) | 39% | 79 |
| #4 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | 38% | 55 |
| #5 | bigchib | 35% | 31 |
| #6 | dOugTS | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigchib | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | dOugTS | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | The Real Ryan Boyd (Look Me Up) | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SudZ] Old_Major | 294 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | SpayCee | 139 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | 98 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | The Real Ryan Boyd (Look Me Up) | 73 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | bigchib | 61 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁︎ Akido ☁ | +1.85 | 50 | 64 |
| #2 | SpayCee | +0.59 | 73 | 70 |
| #3 | [SudZ] Old_Major | +0.48 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | -0.87 | 34 | 71 |
| #5 | dOugTS | -1.60 | 62 | 44 |





