








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 502 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 946 matches | ||
| Faceit | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 59,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18121 | 31% |
| Smokes | 15845 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 11012 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 14330 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,725,898 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1705 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpayCee | 50% | 141 |
| #2 | ☁︎ Akido ☁ | 49% | 75 |
| #3 | bigchib | 48% | 288 |
| #4 | Lazy | 48% | 136 |
| #5 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | 46% | 448 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ☁︎ Akido ☁ | 49% | 75 |
| #3 | bigchib | 48% | 288 |
| #4 | Lazy | 48% | 136 |
| #5 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | 46% | 448 |
| #6 | dOugTS | 43% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigchib | 31 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | 23 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | dOugTS | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | ☁︎ Akido ☁ | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | SpayCee | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | 929 | 0.10 | 27 min |
| #2 | bigchib | 592 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #3 | SpayCee | 560 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #4 | ☁︎ Akido ☁ | 316 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #5 | Lazy | 175 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁︎ Akido ☁ | +1.09 | 45 | 61 |
| #2 | [SudZ] Old_Major | +1.06 | 67 | 73 |
| #3 | SpayCee | +0.98 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | Lazy | -0.03 | 59 | 51 |
| #5 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | -0.24 | 33 | 74 |





