








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 446 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 807 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1429 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 983 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1290 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,433,189 of utility $259 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PloydF | 50% | 26 |
| #2 | bigchib | 44% | 116 |
| #3 | [SudZ] Old_Major | 43% | 115 |
| #4 | SpayCee | 43% | 49 |
| #5 | ☁︎ Akido ☁ | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | [SudZ] Old_Major | 43% | 115 |
| #4 | SpayCee | 43% | 49 |
| #5 | ☁︎ Akido ☁ | 32% | 28 |
| #6 | Lazy | 32% | 19 |
| #7 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | 32% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigchib | 15 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | [SudZ] Old_Major | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ☁︎ Akido ☁ | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | PloydF | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SudZ] Old_Major | 412 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | bigchib | 294 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | SpayCee | 156 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | 152 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | ☁︎ Akido ☁ | 142 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PloydF | +2.23 | 80 | 34 |
| #2 | SpayCee | +1.45 | 71 | 71 |
| #3 | [SudZ] Old_Major | +1.29 | 73 | 74 |
| #4 | ☁︎ Akido ☁ | +0.29 | 39 | 65 |
| #5 | Lazy | +0.26 | 64 | 46 |





