








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 438 matches | ||
| Faceit | 157 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 131 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5206 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4141 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4743 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3575 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,128,286 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 327 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpayCee | 51% | 112 |
| #2 | [SudZ] Old_Major | 48% | 288 |
| #3 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | 48% | 297 |
| #4 | Lazy | 46% | 46 |
| #5 | emforr | 44% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | [SudZ] Old_Major | 48% | 288 |
| #3 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | 48% | 297 |
| #4 | Lazy | 46% | 46 |
| #5 | emforr | 44% | 68 |
| #6 | dOugTS | 44% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dOugTS | 17 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | [SudZ] Old_Major | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | SpayCee | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | emforr | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SudZ] Old_Major | 1125 | 0.18 | 34 min |
| #2 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | 656 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #3 | SpayCee | 429 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | dOugTS | 141 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | emforr | 78 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpayCee | +1.07 | 71 | 70 |
| #2 | [SudZ] Old_Major | +1.02 | 69 | 74 |
| #3 | emforr | +0.36 | 49 | 50 |
| #4 | Manhattan M 1 L E Y | -0.08 | 32 | 74 |
| #5 | Lazy | -0.11 | 59 | 49 |





