








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1447 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 105 matches | ||
| Wingman | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 19 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1794 | 7% |
| Smokes | 7625 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 8481 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 6270 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,370,950 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ddocss | 56% | 117 |
| #2 | Rayak8 | 54% | 68 |
| #3 | /sɛnˈjoːɐ̯/ | 53% | 102 |
| #4 | HogCranker97 | 51% | 98 |
| #5 | JabGG | 50% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rolph | 17 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | i shoot feet | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Smile | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | /sɛnˈjoːɐ̯/ | 12 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | HogCranker97 | 7 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ddocss | 514 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | Smile | 492 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | McKrankyStank | 440 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #4 | HogCranker97 | 300 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | /sɛnˈjoːɐ̯/ | 296 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rayak8 | +5.69 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | VinnieBB | +3.45 | 79 | 40 |
| #3 | /sɛnˈjoːɐ̯/ | +1.89 | 63 | 68 |
| #4 | Rolph | +0.52 | 69 | 40 |
| #5 | JabGG | -0.06 | 45 | 39 |





