








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2181 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2741 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1025 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1413 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $336,638 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ddocss | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Smile | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | JabGG | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | ¥¥Jahpan¥¥ | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | Krinker | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2024 Chevrolet Silverado 1500 | 9 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | i shoot feet | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Krinker | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Smile | 2 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | WelpM3 | 2 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ddocss | 75 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #2 | McKrankyStank | 70 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #3 | VinnieBB | 61 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Smile | 43 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | WelpM3 | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VinnieBB | +4.95 | 81 | 41 |
| #2 | Bomp | +3.63 | 84 | 37 |
| #3 | Krinker | +2.54 | 34 | 43 |
| #4 | Cyanite | +1.55 | 54 | 56 |
| #5 | JabGG | +0.99 | 53 | 42 |





