








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2039 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1310 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1781 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1530 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $206,207 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beelee | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Mr. Cool | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | Lance | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | Zoom | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | starly | 58% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Lax | 48% | 25 |
| #13 | E T H A N | 47% | 17 |
| #14 | Norwood Bipper | 42% | 19 |
| #15 | Prodigy Toast | 40% | 15 |
| #16 | Fish | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Norwood Bipper | 6 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | Milky | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | timmy toughknuckles | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Fish | 3 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | rubaiyacht | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rubaiyacht | 125 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | Milky | 101 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | timmy toughknuckles | 87 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | E T H A N | 78 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Prodigy Toast | 77 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beelee | +5.38 | 76 | 39 |
| #2 | E T H A N | +3.58 | 82 | 49 |
| #3 | starly | +3.00 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | rubaiyacht | +2.48 | 72 | 60 |
| #5 | sky | +2.38 | 51 | 57 |





