








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1014 | 47% |
| Smokes | 266 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 515 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 382 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $404,080 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Treta Ghunberg | 38% | 94 |
| #2 | latzo | 38% | 104 |
| #3 | suw4t | 35% | 55 |
| #4 | Marlboron | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Treta Ghunberg | 38% | 94 |
| #2 | latzo | 38% | 104 |
| #3 | suw4t | 35% | 55 |
| #4 | Marlboron | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Treta Ghunberg | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | latzo | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | suw4t | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Marlboron | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | latzo | 439 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | suw4t | 220 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Treta Ghunberg | 187 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Marlboron | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | latzo | +1.64 | 79 | 74 |
| #2 | suw4t | +1.12 | 66 | 58 |
| #3 | Bob Ross | -2.31 | 48 | 55 |
| #4 | Treta Ghunberg | -4.00 | 25 | 62 |
| #5 | Marlboron | -4.04 | 28 | 60 |





