








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1369 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2798 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3080 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2371 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,255,183 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 759 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | McQuefton | 49% | 174 |
| #6 | Ricky Gervais | 49% | 261 |
| #7 | Dirty Dan | 49% | 317 |
| #8 | Marlon Brando | 40% | 25 |
| #9 | Lil buzzed | 40% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dirty Dan | 814 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | Ricky Gervais | 287 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | Cat | 245 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Frost | 182 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | McQuefton | 135 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | django | +5.08 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | Frost | +3.00 | 85 | 43 |
| #3 | Ricky Gervais | +1.10 | 57 | 41 |
| #4 | Lil buzzed | +0.62 | 64 | 39 |
| #5 | McQuefton | -0.31 | 51 | 52 |





