








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Wingman | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2430 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1726 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1996 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1832 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $640,428 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | JoeFamilyGuy | 49% | 79 |
| #6 | SPOSJE | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | Static | 47% | 83 |
| #8 | Marlon Brando | 46% | 39 |
| #9 | Botwright | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Static | 619 | 0.35 | 18 min |
| #2 | Marlon Brando | 227 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #3 | django | 149 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Botwright | 94 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rise | 92 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | django | +4.35 | 85 | 55 |
| #2 | Botwright | +2.28 | 85 | 63 |
| #3 | Frost | +1.46 | 81 | 47 |
| #4 | Rise | +1.30 | 75 | 56 |
| #5 | SPOSJE | -0.40 | 87 | 50 |





