








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 804 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 706 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6340 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8557 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6761 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5334 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5642 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,088,403 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McQuefton | 52% | 302 |
| #2 | Ricky Gervais | 49% | 385 |
| #3 | Cat | 49% | 251 |
| #4 | JoeFamilyGuy | 49% | 317 |
| #5 | Goose | 47% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ricky Gervais | 49% | 385 |
| #3 | Cat | 49% | 251 |
| #4 | JoeFamilyGuy | 49% | 317 |
| #5 | Goose | 47% | 51 |
| #6 | Lil buzzed | 42% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ricky Gervais | 30 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | JoeFamilyGuy | 22 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Cat | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | McQuefton | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Lil buzzed | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cat | 503 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | Ricky Gervais | 495 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #3 | JoeFamilyGuy | 227 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #4 | McQuefton | 220 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Lil buzzed | 82 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ricky Gervais | +1.45 | 56 | 43 |
| #2 | Lil buzzed | +0.73 | 61 | 44 |
| #3 | McQuefton | +0.20 | 53 | 51 |
| #4 | JoeFamilyGuy | +0.13 | 60 | 40 |
| #5 | Dirty Dan | -0.06 | 68 | 49 |





