










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 120 | 10% |
| Smokes | 278 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 362 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 438 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,249 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naiad | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | DirtyBird8 | 34% | 70 |
| #3 | TheSky'sTheLimit | 32% | 74 |
| #4 | Drip | 30% | 23 |
| #5 | KillaWaff | 30% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KillaWaff | 10 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | plimby! | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | TheSky'sTheLimit | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | naiad | 2 | 0.0160 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DirtyBird8 | 194 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Drip | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Moogitar | 22 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | KillaWaff | 19 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | naiad | 16 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naiad | +7.12 | 87 | 41 |
| #2 | plimby! | +3.76 | 70 | 17 |
| #3 | Moogitar | +2.45 | 29 | 57 |
| #4 | DirtyBird8 | -0.12 | 41 | 64 |
| #5 | KillaWaff | -0.60 | 17 | 25 |





