










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3444 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 378 | 23% |
| Smokes | 375 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 455 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 457 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $558,102 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1512 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | komi | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | Seazyns | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | Moogitar | 45% | 22 |
| #4 | naiad | 44% | 41 |
| #5 | Mnqz | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | TheSky'sTheLimit | 37% | 174 |
| #10 | burgerlord247 | 37% | 49 |
| #11 | WaveX2 | 37% | 49 |
| #12 | KillaWaff | 32% | 34 |
| #13 | Trexgolfclap | 28% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DirtyBird8 | 480 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | Drip | 205 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mnqz | 102 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | burgerlord247 | 100 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | komi | 78 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | komi | +9.56 | 95 | 28 |
| #2 | naiad | +4.96 | 69 | 47 |
| #3 | Mnqz | +2.50 | 52 | 28 |
| #4 | Moogitar | +2.35 | 36 | 56 |
| #5 | burgerlord247 | +2.20 | 76 | 53 |





