










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 292 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3015 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,635 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2110 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1628 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2954 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1943 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $424,752 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moogitar | 50% | 22 |
| #2 | KillaWaff | 46% | 28 |
| #3 | Mnqz | 41% | 32 |
| #4 | DirtyBird8 | 40% | 175 |
| #5 | TheSky'sTheLimit | 39% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DirtyBird8 | 40% | 175 |
| #5 | TheSky'sTheLimit | 39% | 171 |
| #6 | plimby! | 38% | 123 |
| #7 | naiad | 38% | 21 |
| #8 | Trexgolfclap | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | plimby! | 23 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | KillaWaff | 8 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | Mnqz | 7 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | TheSky'sTheLimit | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | DirtyBird8 | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DirtyBird8 | 415 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Mnqz | 69 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | plimby! | 39 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Moogitar | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | TheSky'sTheLimit | 12 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naiad | +5.31 | 66 | 46 |
| #2 | plimby! | +3.04 | 67 | 23 |
| #3 | Mnqz | +2.49 | 46 | 23 |
| #4 | Moogitar | +0.62 | 27 | 59 |
| #5 | KillaWaff | -0.22 | 19 | 41 |





