








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 496 | 15% |
| Smokes | 921 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 818 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1169 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $872,543 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | III | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Lax | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Prodigy Toast | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Saaable | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Kise | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Valid | 35% | 23 |
| #16 | Z u l F | 33% | 15 |
| #17 | * Fresh | 32% | 22 |
| #18 | Weirdy Strangey | 31% | 13 |
| #19 | Toast | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jizzy | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Weirdy Strangey | 3 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | ♡ Gr1ff1n ♡ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Gabehasbongo | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | * Fresh | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ry^_^ | 116 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Gabehasbongo | 111 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | ♡ Gr1ff1n ♡ | 96 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ace | 83 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lax | 78 | 0.16 | 2 min |





