








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2003 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1609 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3357 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2732 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2068 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,107,758 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bun | 38% | 21 |
| #7 | ♡ Gr1ff1n ♡ | 36% | 22 |
| #8 | EndRz | 35% | 23 |
| #9 | jizzy | 35% | 52 |
| #10 | Lax | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RHF_ | 6 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | ry^_^ | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | jizzy | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Shane216 | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Lax | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ry^_^ | 551 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | Shane216 | 121 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | jizzy | 87 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | ♡ Gr1ff1n ♡ | 79 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lax | 76 | 0.11 | 2 min |





