








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2047 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2377 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3473 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2067 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $659,968 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ambrus | 62% | 60 |
| #5 | ✪死神 | 58% | 76 |
| #6 | DeathWatch | 57% | 89 |
| #7 | ShadowZ | 57% | 144 |
| #8 | BrainFreeZ | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShadowZ | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | DeathWatch | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ✪死神 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Ambrus | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | BrainFreeZ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShadowZ | 302 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | ✪死神 | 167 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | DeathWatch | 106 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | TheĐankŁord | 72 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ambrus | 68 | 0.05 | 2 min |





