








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 938 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,642 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3816 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5056 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4200 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3570 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,096,623 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bangers and Mash | 53% | 87 |
| #2 | WAWAWEEWA | 50% | 477 |
| #3 | REEK | 48% | 241 |
| #4 | The Piscinthropus Submarinus | 44% | 242 |
| #5 | Email-Worm.Win32.MeltingScreen | 43% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | WAWAWEEWA | 50% | 477 |
| #3 | REEK | 48% | 241 |
| #4 | The Piscinthropus Submarinus | 44% | 242 |
| #5 | Email-Worm.Win32.MeltingScreen | 43% | 211 |
| #6 | MINIVAN AFICIONADO | 40% | 253 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WAWAWEEWA | 23 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Email-Worm.Win32.MeltingScreen | 19 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | MINIVAN AFICIONADO | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | REEK | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Bangers and Mash | 6 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WAWAWEEWA | 1465 | 0.15 | 37 min |
| #2 | REEK | 788 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | MINIVAN AFICIONADO | 602 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | Email-Worm.Win32.MeltingScreen | 346 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | The Piscinthropus Submarinus | 197 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BradPitt | +3.64 | 67 | 54 |
| #2 | Bangers and Mash | +1.76 | 57 | 58 |
| #3 | REEK | -0.08 | 56 | 57 |
| #4 | WAWAWEEWA | -0.35 | 52 | 60 |
| #5 | MINIVAN AFICIONADO | -0.94 | 60 | 53 |





