










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 708 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17893 | 60% |
| Smokes | 3808 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 898 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 7391 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $988,383 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 790 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BradPitt | 48% | 241 |
| #2 | Worldeater | 45% | 531 |
| #3 | The Piscinthropus Submarinus | 44% | 398 |
| #4 | Rajesh Koothrappali | 44% | 135 |
| #5 | Email-Worm.Win32.MeltingScreen | 44% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Worldeater | 33 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Email-Worm.Win32.MeltingScreen | 21 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | BradPitt | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | The Piscinthropus Submarinus | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | ghstrydr | 10 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Worldeater | 1699 | 0.16 | 42 min |
| #2 | ghstrydr | 613 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | BradPitt | 422 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | The Piscinthropus Submarinus | 383 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | Email-Worm.Win32.MeltingScreen | 358 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BradPitt | +4.10 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | Rajesh Koothrappali | +2.17 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | REEK | +1.32 | 64 | 60 |
| #4 | Worldeater | +0.39 | 56 | 66 |
| #5 | ghstrydr | -0.37 | 66 | 55 |





