








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 780 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Wingman | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2966 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2127 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 4626 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5875 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,939,330 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 577 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Worldeater | 38 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Email-Worm.Win32.MeltingScreen | 34 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | BradPitt | 22 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | ghstrydr | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | REEK | 12 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Worldeater | 1964 | 0.14 | 48 min |
| #2 | REEK | 1336 | 0.17 | 29 min |
| #3 | ghstrydr | 727 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | Email-Worm.Win32.MeltingScreen | 565 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #5 | BradPitt | 450 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BradPitt | +4.45 | 71 | 63 |
| #2 | Rajesh Koothrappali | +2.49 | 60 | 62 |
| #3 | REEK | +1.56 | 64 | 60 |
| #4 | Worldeater | +1.29 | 59 | 65 |
| #5 | ghstrydr | -0.32 | 67 | 54 |





