








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 666 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 563 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 156 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7431 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5628 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6720 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5837 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,203,187 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 784 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HackerClan™ | 57% | 167 |
| #2 | Matrix.exe | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | BOSS | 54% | 190 |
| #4 | DerOberDude | 52% | 64 |
| #5 | Charles Spliffskowsky | 51% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HackerClan™ | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | meisenb | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | BOSS | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | NoKXeN | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Charles Spliffskowsky | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOSS | 615 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | meisenb | 403 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | NoKXeN | 391 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | HackerClan™ | 387 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | SmollDwagun | 354 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerOberDude | +1.84 | 75 | 73 |
| #2 | meisenb | +1.62 | 77 | 73 |
| #3 | HackerClan™ | +0.60 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | BOSS | +0.56 | 65 | 77 |
| #5 | NoKXeN | +0.55 | 76 | 55 |





