








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 464 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6195 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4529 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3883 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4944 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,244,385 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 760 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orion | 90% | 40 |
| #2 | Tuna | 84% | 45 |
| #3 | barrett | 81% | 52 |
| #4 | aerocliq | 76% | 96 |
| #5 | Salty Snake | 76% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Anthony | 70% | 105 |
| #11 | chunchy | 67% | 159 |
| #12 | srs | 66% | 200 |
| #13 | zoe | 63% | 278 |
| #14 | Premium Paul | 57% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | 59 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | chunchy | 37 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | aerocliq | 18 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | zoe | 15 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | shift | 13 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | 644 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | chunchy | 467 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | aerocliq | 329 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Anthony | 291 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | srs | 257 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuna | +5.33 | 75 | 55 |
| #2 | Cache Man | +5.09 | 71 | 51 |
| #3 | Salty Snake | +3.64 | 65 | 39 |
| #4 | barrett | +3.64 | 79 | 41 |
| #5 | Anthony | +3.25 | 72 | 67 |





