








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 154 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3349 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2849 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2549 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2667 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,212,393 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 415 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eniman | 81% | 224 |
| #2 | Gubi.sh | 78% | 145 |
| #3 | ✪ Noogey™ | 78% | 282 |
| #4 | Finesse. | 76% | 210 |
| #5 | Rednax- | 75% | 542 |





