








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1040 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




195 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,838 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5905 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5955 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4759 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6219 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,333,745 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1726 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h0ly | 78% | 282 |
| #2 | Eniman | 77% | 205 |
| #3 | Gubi.sh | 76% | 160 |
| #4 | Rednax- | 75% | 513 |
| #5 | oreosss | 75% | 103 |





