








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 935 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1872 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1897 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1798 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,073 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ダイワスカーレット | 60% | 52 |
| #2 | Godot | 59% | 93 |
| #3 | MANBO | 55% | 60 |
| #4 | hina | 55% | 104 |
| #5 | spotify premium | 53% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | hina | 55% | 104 |
| #5 | spotify premium | 53% | 124 |
| #6 | ラプラス・ダークネス | 50% | 282 |
| #7 | ダンツフレーム | 48% | 183 |
| #8 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ラプラス・ダークネス | 23 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | ダンツフレーム | 16 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | spotify premium | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | MANBO | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hina | 276 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | ダンツフレーム | 254 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Godot | 198 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | ラプラス・ダークネス | 149 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | spotify premium | 74 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Godot | +3.54 | 65 | 44 |
| #2 | hina | +3.48 | 71 | 55 |
| #3 | ラプラス・ダークネス | +1.79 | 59 | 35 |
| #4 | MANBO | +0.70 | 52 | 39 |
| #5 | ダンツフレーム | +0.37 | 40 | 48 |





