








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 388 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 117 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




197 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,419 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5899 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3875 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6528 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3117 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,146,746 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1373 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 去你的 | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | Scoot | 44% | 34 |
| #3 | Crawdad | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 去你的 | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | Scoot | 44% | 34 |
| #3 | Crawdad | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 去你的 | 15 | 0.0182 |
| #2 | Crawdad | 8 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Scoot | 6 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 去你的 | 111 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Crawdad | 89 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Scoot | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | "Mr Purple" | +2.68 | 71 | 58 |
| #2 | 去你的 | +2.43 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | Scoot | +0.51 | 36 | 38 |
| #4 | Crawdad | -2.06 | 28 | 34 |





