








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1530 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 396 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4277 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6395 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5239 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6905 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5716 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,552,107 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ParadiseGG | 54% | 157 |
| #2 | AsaSain⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | 53% | 225 |
| #3 | Señor Vac | 52% | 122 |
| #4 | Whiffmeister | 51% | 314 |
| #5 | Marwale cinematic universe | 50% | 359 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Whiffmeister | 51% | 314 |
| #5 | Marwale cinematic universe | 50% | 359 |
| #6 | KD | 50% | 229 |
| #7 | T H 3 ♣ N E M E S ! $ | 50% | 185 |
| #8 | GAMER | 49% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whiffmeister | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | KD | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | AsaSain⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | GAMER | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | T H 3 ♣ N E M E S ! $ | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marwale cinematic universe | 1129 | 0.14 | 35 min |
| #2 | KD | 991 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #3 | GAMER | 651 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #4 | Whiffmeister | 593 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #5 | AsaSain⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | 568 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whiffmeister | +3.62 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | AsaSain⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | +0.97 | 66 | 58 |
| #3 | Marwale cinematic universe | +0.35 | 63 | 72 |
| #4 | KD | +0.15 | 62 | 73 |
| #5 | ParadiseGG | -0.21 | 50 | 54 |





