








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1036 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 676 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8021 | 24% |
| Smokes | 10055 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6283 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 8869 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,493,965 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaguya | 61% | 72 |
| #2 | NeMeSiS | 59% | 59 |
| #3 | HaxOn420 | 59% | 78 |
| #4 | LOST_AIM #Say_No_To_Throw | 59% | 68 |
| #5 | ★AlcoHoliCcc-✘^ | 53% | 225 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marwale cinematic universe | 13 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | ParadiseGG | 12 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | T H 3 ♣ N E M E S ! $ | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | GAMER | 11 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | KD | 9 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marwale cinematic universe | 1799 | 0.14 | 56 min |
| #2 | KD | 1368 | 0.18 | 39 min |
| #3 | GAMER | 1119 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| #4 | ParadiseGG | 964 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #5 | Señor Vac | 946 | 0.20 | 28 min |





