








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 903 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 792 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12255 | 36% |
| Smokes | 9444 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4499 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 7771 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,787,135 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | T H 3 ♣ N E M E S ! $ | 49% | 435 |
| #6 | Señor Vac | 48% | 378 |
| #7 | GAMER | 48% | 443 |
| #8 | Marwale cinematic universe | 48% | 713 |
| #9 | ParadiseGG | 47% | 397 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ParadiseGG | 23 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Whiffmeister | 19 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Marwale cinematic universe | 16 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | GAMER | 14 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | AsaSain⫍ ⃢ ⫎ | 13 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marwale cinematic universe | 2393 | 0.16 | 75 min |
| #2 | Señor Vac | 1566 | 0.20 | 46 min |
| #3 | GAMER | 1192 | 0.12 | 30 min |
| #4 | T H 3 ♣ N E M E S ! $ | 1082 | 0.11 | 30 min |
| #5 | ParadiseGG | 1048 | 0.12 | 18 min |





