








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1031 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6474 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4430 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3248 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3711 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,118,060 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Flobo | 48% | 25 |
| #8 | Cennie | 48% | 96 |
| #9 | Dangerous | 46% | 99 |
| #10 | 0% aim 100% rage | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | tgm-mcl | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Syret | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Dangerous | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | tgm-mcl | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | 0% aim 100% rage | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Cennie | 1 | 0.0005 |





