








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3640 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3243 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3235 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2269 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,358,589 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 507 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sassy The Simp | 50% | 28 |
| #2 | samwell | 48% | 185 |
| #3 | Flobo | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | The Devil | 46% | 99 |
| #5 | _bitxhb | 46% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | nrwls | 45% | 199 |
| #7 | Cennie | 43% | 81 |
| #8 | Syret | 41% | 167 |
| #9 | SirPepi | 34% | 35 |
| #10 | 0% aim 100% rage | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Syret | 16 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Cennie | 12 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | nrwls | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | The Devil | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Flobo | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Devil | 542 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #2 | Syret | 516 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | samwell | 468 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | Flobo | 163 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Cennie | 131 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samwell | +2.74 | 76 | 58 |
| #2 | nrwls | +2.15 | 77 | 29 |
| #3 | Dangerous | +1.68 | 59 | 55 |
| #4 | The Devil | +0.09 | 64 | 69 |
| #5 | Syret | -0.09 | 52 | 61 |





