








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 968 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 638 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,277 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3399 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4438 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6067 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6373 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,065,818 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 885 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | nrwls | 48% | 104 |
| #7 | The Devil | 48% | 96 |
| #8 | Syret | 47% | 383 |
| #9 | something | 45% | 55 |
| #10 | Dangerous | 43% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Syret | 29 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | something | 19 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | Me | 17 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | SirPepi | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | 0% aim 100% rage | 7 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Syret | 1227 | 0.15 | 33 min |
| #2 | Me | 555 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | The Devil | 555 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #4 | Flobo | 258 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | 0% aim 100% rage | 197 | 0.07 | 4 min |





