








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 641 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 484 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4460 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4892 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5198 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7312 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2880 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,410,811 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ramonion | 59% | 81 |
| #2 | .skepa | 53% | 140 |
| #3 | xSupha | 51% | 370 |
| #4 | yarnoverhoeven | 50% | 44 |
| #5 | Panstrovski | 48% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Panstrovski | 48% | 135 |
| #6 | Loek | 45% | 135 |
| #7 | Señor Blub's left nut | 43% | 75 |
| #8 | Guru | 43% | 68 |
| #9 | PureLuckNoSkill | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guru | 11 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | xSupha | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | .skepa | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | yarnoverhoeven | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Panstrovski | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xSupha | 519 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #2 | Loek | 256 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | .skepa | 181 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Guru | 158 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Señor Blub's left nut | 107 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Blub's left nut | +1.55 | 71 | 39 |
| #2 | PureLuckNoSkill | +1.40 | 68 | 43 |
| #3 | Guru | +1.22 | 62 | 78 |
| #4 | xSupha | +0.85 | 37 | 46 |
| #5 | GravityDragon | +0.47 | 49 | 63 |





