








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 281 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 639 | 9% |
| Smokes | 2585 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2056 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1538 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,543 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 566 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ramonion | 57% | 79 |
| #2 | yarnoverhoeven | 55% | 44 |
| #3 | Guru | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | xSupha | 49% | 272 |
| #5 | .skepa | 48% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | .skepa | 48% | 126 |
| #6 | GravityDragon | 48% | 135 |
| #7 | Loek | 47% | 129 |
| #8 | Señor Blub's left nut | 44% | 87 |
| #9 | PureLuckNoSkill | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GravityDragon | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | xSupha | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Guru | 7 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | .skepa | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Ramonion | 6 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xSupha | 384 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | GravityDragon | 368 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | Loek | 198 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | .skepa | 197 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Señor Blub's left nut | 145 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guru | +1.75 | 63 | 77 |
| #2 | xSupha | +1.53 | 40 | 52 |
| #3 | Señor Blub's left nut | +1.20 | 71 | 41 |
| #4 | PureLuckNoSkill | +0.98 | 60 | 58 |
| #5 | Ramonion | +0.56 | 41 | 23 |





