








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,491 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1000 | 29% |
| Smokes | 570 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1009 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 912 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $335,189 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deadly | 17 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | ♞Micツ♞ | 12 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | monty | 11 | 0.0152 |
| #4 | Kana | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | 主 kRypTiiC | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♞Micツ♞ | 288 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | monty | 219 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #3 | Deadly | 210 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kana | 181 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | 主 kRypTiiC | 171 | 0.21 | 4 min |





