








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 652 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4073 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3281 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2977 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3286 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $959,470 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kana | 52% | 112 |
| #5 | 主 kRypTiiC | 51% | 113 |
| #6 | DaboV | 50% | 109 |
| #7 | Deadly | 46% | 105 |
| #8 | Mystic | 37% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monty | 27 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Deadly | 20 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | Kana | 17 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | w h i t e | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | 主 kRypTiiC | 8 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w h i t e | 1291 | 0.22 | 34 min |
| #2 | monty | 726 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #3 | Kana | 534 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #4 | 主 kRypTiiC | 489 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #5 | DaboV | 452 | 0.20 | 12 min |





