








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2158 | 51% |
| Smokes | 780 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 670 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 626 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $313,213 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dragoon | 57% | 7 |
| #6 | w h i t e | 55% | 56 |
| #7 | ♞Micツ♞ | 51% | 113 |
| #8 | Deadly | 49% | 63 |
| #9 | Mystic | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♞Micツ♞ | 12 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | monty | 12 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Deadly | 9 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Kana | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | w h i t e | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monty | 390 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #2 | ♞Micツ♞ | 356 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Kana | 245 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | w h i t e | 220 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #5 | Deadly | 131 | 0.10 | 4 min |





