








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1041 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 757 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6444 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5637 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4987 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5436 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,297,710 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timer | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | Dom Burgão | 53% | 166 |
| #3 | E | 51% | 192 |
| #4 | bugstomper36 | 50% | 217 |
| #5 | J_Arno | 49% | 707 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J_Arno | 13 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Dom Burgão | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | E | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | TWRK | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | bugstomper36 | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J_Arno | 1382 | 0.09 | 37 min |
| #2 | bugstomper36 | 274 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | TWRK | 260 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | E | 256 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | saM | 239 | 0.14 | 6 min |





