








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 357 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2238 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1671 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3279 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2994 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,530,192 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | J_Arno | 49% | 352 |
| #9 | Saturn | 47% | 32 |
| #10 | Kendall | 45% | 22 |
| #11 | KillerConn | 45% | 22 |
| #12 | saM | 27% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J_Arno | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | OakyPoky | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | E | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Dom Burgão | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | TWRK | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J_Arno | 678 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #2 | OakyPoky | 553 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | E | 145 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | TWRK | 132 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dom Burgão | 111 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | curticuss | +2.22 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | KillerConn | +1.50 | 73 | 33 |
| #3 | bugstomper36 | +1.15 | 54 | 53 |
| #4 | OakyPoky | +0.55 | 35 | 61 |
| #5 | Dom Burgão | +0.18 | 69 | 49 |





