








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1808 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1687 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2130 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1907 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $938,274 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dom Burgão | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | Timer | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | E | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | bugstomper36 | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | KillerConn | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OakyPoky | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | blue | 6 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Scoop | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Timer | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | J_Arno | 2 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J_Arno | 468 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | OakyPoky | 364 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | saM | 138 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | bugstomper36 | 90 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Scoop | 74 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bugstomper36 | +3.05 | 56 | 52 |
| #2 | KillerConn | +2.26 | 78 | 46 |
| #3 | E | +1.71 | 34 | 52 |
| #4 | Dom Burgão | +1.52 | 74 | 35 |
| #5 | Scoop | +1.44 | 57 | 48 |





