








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
84 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 61 | 37% |
| Smokes | 47 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 31 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 24 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $18,900 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | imgookin | 17% | 6 |
| #2 | OILMAN | 17% | 6 |
| #3 | mister grant | 0% | 2 |
| #4 | poo eater | 0% | 2 |
| #5 | Cyka Bear | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | mister grant | 0% | 2 |
| #4 | poo eater | 0% | 2 |
| #5 | Cyka Bear | 0% | 3 |
| #6 | أخ بسم الله | 0% | 3 |
| #7 | jpf | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jpf | 4 | 0.0690 |
| #2 | Cyka Bear | 2 | 0.0286 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OILMAN | 12 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #2 | mister grant | 11 | 0.29 | 0 min |
| #3 | jpf | 8 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | imgookin | 6 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Cyka Bear | 4 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jpf | +3.07 | 63 | 55 |
| #2 | poo eater | -0.59 | 46 | 3 |
| #3 | Cyka Bear | -1.12 | 45 | 61 |
| #4 | أخ بسم الله | -1.97 | 44 | 44 |
| #5 | Meliodas | -2.10 | 75 | 54 |





