








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 202 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3144 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1989 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2639 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 669 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 2045 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $960,624 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asscheek | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | mister grant | 60% | 180 |
| #3 | 把整个海洋带出来 | 56% | 145 |
| #4 | aashish #out of rehab | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | jpf | 52% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asscheek | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | mister grant | 60% | 180 |
| #3 | 把整个海洋带出来 | 56% | 145 |
| #4 | aashish #out of rehab | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | jpf | 52% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jpf | 27 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | mister grant | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | 把整个海洋带出来 | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | aashish #out of rehab | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | asscheek | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mister grant | 1198 | 0.31 | 31 min |
| #2 | 把整个海洋带出来 | 898 | 0.28 | 25 min |
| #3 | jpf | 238 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | aashish #out of rehab | 68 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | asscheek | 57 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 把整个海洋带出来 | +2.84 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | jpf | +1.71 | 57 | 47 |
| #3 | OILMAN | +0.94 | 65 | 54 |
| #4 | mister grant | -0.24 | 52 | 67 |
| #5 | aashish #out of rehab | -0.34 | 70 | 51 |





