








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 139 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,641 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1039 | 39% |
| Smokes | 621 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 435 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 546 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $317,259 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mister grant | 55% | 53 |
| #2 | OILMAN | 52% | 98 |
| #3 | 把整个海洋带出来 | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | Cyka Bear | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | asscheek | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 把整个海洋带出来 | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | Cyka Bear | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | asscheek | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | aashish #out of rehab | 43% | 28 |
| #7 | imgookin | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mister grant | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | OILMAN | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | aashish #out of rehab | 5 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | Cyka Bear | 5 | 0.0147 |
| #5 | 把整个海洋带出来 | 3 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mister grant | 369 | 0.33 | 10 min |
| #2 | 把整个海洋带出来 | 302 | 0.36 | 9 min |
| #3 | OILMAN | 178 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | aashish #out of rehab | 59 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cyka Bear | 37 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 把整个海洋带出来 | +3.15 | 80 | 70 |
| #2 | jpf | +1.63 | 57 | 48 |
| #3 | OILMAN | +1.46 | 62 | 51 |
| #4 | mister grant | -0.34 | 42 | 70 |
| #5 | aashish #out of rehab | -0.89 | 71 | 42 |





