








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
78 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 43 | 25% |
| Smokes | 25 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 37 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 67 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $53,535 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyka Bear | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | OILMAN | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | jpf | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | 把整个海洋带出来 | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | mister grant | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jpf | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | 把整个海洋带出来 | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | mister grant | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | Meliodas | 17% | 6 |
| #7 | أخ بسم الله | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jpf | 8 | 0.0339 |
| #2 | mister grant | 2 | 0.0153 |
| #3 | Cyka Bear | 2 | 0.0198 |
| #4 | OILMAN | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Meliodas | 1 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OILMAN | 49 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | jpf | 45 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | mister grant | 35 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #4 | 把整个海洋带出来 | 17 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | Meliodas | 11 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 把整个海洋带出来 | +7.60 | 85 | 57 |
| #2 | jpf | +4.18 | 64 | 52 |
| #3 | OILMAN | +0.19 | 66 | 56 |
| #4 | mister grant | +0.03 | 43 | 70 |
| #5 | أخ بسم الله | -1.97 | 44 | 44 |





