








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11110 | 38% |
| Smokes | 7454 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5289 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5343 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,592,964 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 437 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | PhasMid | 49% | 99 |
| #8 | lipa | 48% | 75 |
| #9 | Ćn3k | 47% | 116 |
| #10 | Mondek | 46% | 260 |
| #11 | ☞Miodzio☜♡ | 45% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪MakDick✪ | 24 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | ✪☭☭Frychuj☭☭✪ | 19 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ✪ Grzechuj ✪ | 17 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Mondek | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | ☞Miodzio☜♡ | 6 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪☭☭Frychuj☭☭✪ | 823 | 0.09 | 22 min |
| #2 | Mondek | 772 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #3 | ✪ Grzechuj ✪ | 658 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | ✪MakDick✪ | 637 | 0.08 | 22 min |
| #5 | ☞Miodzio☜♡ | 283 | 0.15 | 7 min |





