








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4171 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3303 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3686 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3379 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,865,422 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lipa | 48% | 54 |
| #2 | ✪☭☭Frychuj☭☭✪ | 47% | 328 |
| #3 | Gudlaj | 46% | 260 |
| #4 | ✪ Grzechuj ✪ | 46% | 147 |
| #5 | PhasMid | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Gudlaj | 46% | 260 |
| #4 | ✪ Grzechuj ✪ | 46% | 147 |
| #5 | PhasMid | 45% | 53 |
| #6 | ✪MakDick✪ | 44% | 257 |
| #7 | Ćn3k | 41% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gudlaj | 15 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | ✪MakDick✪ | 14 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | ✪☭☭Frychuj☭☭✪ | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ✪ Grzechuj ✪ | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | lipa | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gudlaj | 1085 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | ✪☭☭Frychuj☭☭✪ | 599 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #3 | ✪MakDick✪ | 447 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #4 | ✪ Grzechuj ✪ | 381 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | PhasMid | 140 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪☭☭Frychuj☭☭✪ | +3.77 | 72 | 59 |
| #2 | ✪ Grzechuj ✪ | +2.00 | 66 | 57 |
| #3 | lipa | +0.74 | 81 | 44 |
| #4 | Gudlaj | +0.54 | 65 | 64 |
| #5 | PhasMid | +0.29 | 55 | 60 |





