








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 219 | 14% |
| Smokes | 595 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 393 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 310 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $15,702 of utility $8 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | colonelolel | 46% | 13 |
| #2 | sharktornado | 46% | 52 |
| #3 | Doggo | 42% | 59 |
| #4 | Sam | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | SherlockGunZ | 42% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SherlockGunZ | 42% | 71 |
| #6 | Deka | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | ElEgyptian | 41% | 59 |
| #8 | Macklimore | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | Shark | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SherlockGunZ | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Shark | 5 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Doggo | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | sharktornado | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | ElEgyptian | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SherlockGunZ | 159 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Doggo | 153 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | sharktornado | 90 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | ElEgyptian | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Shark | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SherlockGunZ | +2.80 | 85 | 67 |
| #2 | Doggo | +1.67 | 70 | 63 |
| #3 | Macklimore | +1.00 | 78 | 49 |
| #4 | colonelolel | -0.94 | 70 | 71 |
| #5 | sharktornado | -0.97 | 46 | 53 |





